Yo Dawgs,
Back from retreat, and ready to re-enter the blogosphere. I spent the last couple of days catching up with close friends and family, as well as making plenty of time for quiet sitting. I’ve been overwhelmed a couple of times, but all in all, I’ve had a pretty healthy re-entry into the “normal world.”
How was the retreat you ask? Short answer: good. Longer answer: very good. At this point I’m going to leave it at that, of course you’re always welcome to e-mail me if you have more specific questions (which I may or may not answer). He He He. Just not sure what I want to say about the retreat experience, or what should be said.
In many ways, and most everyone who has some sort of contemplative practice knows this, it’s very hard to talk about experiences surrounding meditation practice. For one thing, it’s difficult linguistically to try and represent and then clearly communicate experience at all (not to mention super-mundane experiences). The other thing is that the more I practice, the less I feel it necessary to discuss some of the specifics. In a very real sense, there’s no one who owns these experiences or to whom they belong. So taking ownership for stuff that simply doesn’t belong to anyone, but is just a natural part of the phenomenal and noumenonal world ends up feeling kind of hallow. And finally, when someone does try and express something it’s often because they I am over-inflated with myself and it isn’t really about the person being communicated with at all.
There are of course many exceptions to this, and the fact is that there are several people I do share specific details with. But in almost every case, these people are doing the same or similar practices, and my sharing has a lot to do with encouraging and learning from them in some way. Unfortunately that may happen on this blog, but is much more likely to not happen given the wide range of readers and wide range of experiences. Again, if you want to speak directly to me, feel free to contact me. 
Hopefully what I’ve said about what I won’t say will suffice in saying something about that which can’t be spoken about. And please don’t ask me to repeat that, cause I’m not sure I can.
June 21st, 2006 at 2:07 pm
V-dawg!
Great to see you not saying anything in the blogosphere again!
See you soon,
~buff duff
June 21st, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Good to see you back.
You know though, without saying anything - what is the measure of “spiritual progress” such as it is?
Without markers - as vague and indefinite as those markers are - (the map, not the territory), as much as those experiences are not “yours” - where is the evidence of stabilization?
June 21st, 2006 at 4:54 pm
If you “say nothing” I mean.
June 22nd, 2006 at 7:00 am
eBudd! (proun. e boood - as in booty without the y sound)
Yes, the maps are still there, and to some degree I think there are still markers. I’ve just decided (and I did this a while back) that I wasn’t going to publicly make any claims using those markers until a) I was damn well sure that I was actually right and b) it will actually benefit, rather than harm, those people who see a claim being made. I think the pre-requisites for a could be filled, but I’m not so sure about b on a blog. I feel more confident that with specific individuals b could be fulfilled, but not with a large group of people.
Like, “hey I reached the 5th level of the 4 stage of the 9th circle of infinite love bliss.” Possible responses, “so what you fucking fuck” or “wow, that’s so cool I’m going to kiss your ass and adore you from afar instead of actually taking up a practice and realizing what you’re talking about” or “hmmm, I don’t know whether this dude actually knows his shit, but in case he’s being honest that’s pretty cool and is really inspiring” If I had anything to claim I’d be looking for that last response, but with an audience I have very little say over, I bet it would be in the minority.
And as far as evidence goes there is none, because I’m not claiming any sort of stabilization of anything. And to be honest I’m not sure how much I can trust any of the maps out there. I mean I know they’re helpful, but damned if they don’t seem to become an obstacle to. Ya know what I mean?
June 22nd, 2006 at 9:32 am
That totally sounds wise, Vince…I admire you, you fucking fuck.
June 22nd, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Duff, if I were as Buff as you you’d need to be wary.