Lately, the practice of meditation (and really in every activity) has become quite subtle. There is a sense of an empty watcher or witness simply observing the birth and death of identity. The watcher turns back in on itself at times, but mostly it is simply resting in the empty flow of reality, which isn’t so much a flow. I’ve been freaking out a little over the past few days, feeling that I need to put more energy into the “search” and make sure that I don’t get caught or stuck in subtly, which seems like a very real trap at this point. The feedback I’ve been getting though, is that what is more appropriate is to recognize that now it is about surrendering fully, not so much about trying to push through. From David @ Just Perception:
There can be no separation – and there can be no expectations. The largest thing that held me up, even to the bitter end, was expectation. And one of the chief expectations is that ’something’ is going to happen to ’someone’, especially ’someone separate’. That notion is dead wrong on so many counts, because there is no separation and there is no one – yet because so many teachings, readings, and practices have implanted this into thought and practice, and not qualified it or moved to nullify it once a seeker naturally is pushed back (like you are being) to the point where then the watcher can be let go, it leaves an unresolved tension and people get stuck. Especially experienced meditators.
And then last night, during a sleepless period I was scanning over an interesting book about Richard Rose’s teachings by John Kent. In one of the last chapters, Alan K. was quoted as saying,
There is no arrival in any of this. There is no someone who attains Enlightenment or Reality. That would be a contradiction, an acceptance of the dualistic idea: that there could be such a thing as time and space.
Word.
