As far as your rephrase goes, I think that’s close to what I was trying to get at, yes.

What I meant by “being without becoming” has something to do with experiencing something in a completely unimpeded way, to the point where there is no separation between me and my experience, between subject and object. In this case I could either say that all is subject, all is object, it’s beyond subject-object, or is a unified subject-object. That’s where the words break down to me, as the move is more essential than any of these word combinations used to describe it.

That said, I feel like this is a work-in-progress for me, and I’m still trying to find the best way to talk about these things. Words are tricky sometimes, but they I don’t think they always have to be.

Yes, there is a practical element to this, which can be quite a process. In some ways I was speaking to what it seems to be about, at the most simple & direct level. But then, dropping resistance to something and allowing it to flow fully, is a huge practice in-and-of itself. Meditation techniques are, in large part, about exploring what that resistance is like and gently unwinding the various levels of added contraction and confusion around experience (and experiencer). Just as you say, it doesn’t (usually) happen all at once.

And I might also add, that I’m not entirely sure how letting experience flow fully, from a phenomonological point of view, relates to deep trauma. What I’ve found in exploring the intersection between Western psychology and meditation, is that sometimes the phenomonological approach doesn’t always allow people to heal from psychological trauma, as its too dissociated to even access directly or takes a different kind of tact to really work with (ex. cognitive behavioral approaches). Then there are all sorts of skillful methods and techniques in the Western psychological tradition that help do that in more effective ways. That said, from all the sources I’ve read on this topic, my conversations with people who are in both fields, and my own experience, meditation and psychotherapy are highly complimentary.

In the end it is being able to accept yourself and your feelings as being a part of yourself that seems to help them dissipate. Being able to be compassionate to yourself with all this luggage seems to be a good path to healing.

Like I said I don’t think we can expect these feelings to disappear with implementing this approach immediately but in time after making it a practice they become less and less intense and overwhelming.

Thanks for the thoughtful response…it really helped.

Good questions…

The reason I sort of avoided going into the definition of enlightenment more, is because it gets really complicated, really quickly. I think my attempt at a pithy definition, of a radical shift of identification wherein there is no longer any “fixed position” is the best I can do in a short space. That feels like it’s getting to the heart of it for me.

Then there’s all sorts of questions about what the process of enlightenment is like (through time), what the timeless nature of enlightenment is like, how enlightenment affects the human being (or does it?), what the implications are on how we live (or are there?), what is going on in the physical brain-body system, how universal are all of these things and to what degree are they shaped or scripted by our interpretive frameworks?

I’ve seen such variation in these answers, from those who I think are legitimately awakened, that it’s very, very difficult to not stay open to these questions. I mean, I could freeze this moment and give you my best attempt at answering them, but then they would change, or I would find more experiences that would contradict my position, and I’d feel thrown back into an open and fluid relationship to these questions. At least, that’s where I am now. ;-D

In terms of the question, “who am I?” It’s still a useful question for me, as it helps to loosen up identity. But as to being driven to answer it, and seeking some final answer, no it isn’t relevant in that way anymore. I know that there is no fixed position, so deeply that looking for one is no longer a viable option. Does that make me special? No.

Would you mind expanding on your discussion of your current definition of enlightenment a bit? I think that would be helpful for me. You mentioned it as the answer to the question, “who am I”. How would you now answer that question or has the question ceased to be relevant anymore?

Thanks